Knight Rider ReBirth: Knight of the Phoenix
by AntagonistChan
Summary: [mild Yuri harem] Michelle Long, a guildsman from Lastation, is injured and seemingly killed in the line of duty. She wakes up in Lastation's Basilicom with a new face, is rechristened Michelle Knight, and is partnered with the supercar KITT to stop the people who "killed" her. AKA, what if Knight Rider took place in Gamindustri instead of California?
1. The Death of Michelle Long

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

 **Alright, so, this is a Neptunia/Knight Rider crossover AU. On the Knight Rider side of things… it's an AU, so it's not pre- or post- anything. On the** _ **Neptunia**_ **side of things, it's post-Megadimension.**

 **Since this is a reimagining, you can enjoy this even if you're not familiar with Knight Rider, since the story doesn't expect you to already know… well, anything. Just know that Knight Rider is an 80's action series about a badass talking car named KITT. Like lots of action shows from the 80's, it's partially "genuinely good" and partially "so bad it's good".**

 **Full honesty here- I've never actually played a Neptunia game (at least, not yet- I'm currently saving up). I've seen clips from Re;Birth, Victory, Action U, and Hyperdevotion Noire; I've seen some of the anime; and I've watched parts of Lets Plays of both Megadimension and Mega** _ **tag**_ **mension. However, I have not yet played any of the games myself. Most of my knowledge of it comes from fanart (including fanfics), discussions, and from looking stuff up on the wiki when I was curious about something. At this point, I'm** _ **pretty**_ **sure I've got the setting down right, but, you know, I'm not certain. If this were a more serious fic, I'd wait until I had more experience with the series, but since this is a silly little** _ **Knight Rider**_ **AU, I figured I can get away with this level of familiarity.**

 **I'm not usually fond of harem stories. I used to be, but I kinda grew out of them. However, Knight Rider introduced a new love interest for Micheal nearly every episode, so I decided that this fic would be a harem story. Besides, more harem stories need to** _ **not**_ **be a generic guy who makes every woman he meets fall in love with him. And, as a girl myself, I can just relate better to yuri harems than I can to straight ones.**

 **This first "episode,"** _ **Knight of the Phoenix**_ **, closely follows the plot of the Knight Rider episode of the same name- season 1, episode 1. This is because I want to establish Michelle and KITT the same way they were established in canon- I want them to very definitely** _ **be**_ **Michael and KITT in spirit. For that reason, it'll only be this first episode that completely copies a canon Knight Rider episode- future episodes may take inspiration from Knight Rider episodes, but I'll be more original in the future so I can take more advantage of the fact that… well, it's Neptunia.**

 **KITT is still a guy. He's not human, so he still fits the Neptunia pattern of "all guys are evil, ugly, or not human". KITT is also not completely accurate to his canon appearance (though he is** _ **mostly**_ **accurate). For details, check out the Knight Rider Re;Birth stuff I have on my DeviantART and Pixiv. At some point, I'll be uploading a design sheet for this version of KITT.**

 **Finally, each episode begins with an OP, and ends with an ED. Each chapter that doesn't end the episode ends with a "commercial bumper". I've got a link to the YouTube playlist that has each after the disclaimer. I custom-made them all, so I'd appreciate it if you took a look. Keep in mind that the Michelle we see in the OP and ED (as well as the picture for this story) is the Michelle from the second chapter onwards- in this first chapter, she looks more plain and NPC-ish.**

 **Let's begin.**

 **DISCLAIMER: Hyperdimension Neptunia belongs to Idea Factory and Compile Heart. Knight Rider belongs to Universal Studios and NBC.**

 **/playlist?list=PLG9dZK2zNZXmUn_O_SN23VWNqL5z3mrYP**

 **Add that to YouTube.**

* * *

 _Knight Rider Re;Birth- a shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a girl who does not exist._

 _Michelle Knight- a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless- in a world of criminals who operate above the law._

* * *

Michelle Amanda Long was a proud citizen of Lastation.

She didn't exactly have much respect for most of Lastation's representatives- Lady Uni always came off as a childish Noire ripoff to her, and Oracle Jinguji was an unfeeling machine who had no humanity to speak of, as far as she was concerned.

But Lady Black Heart was the picture definition of a _Goddess_ to her. Green Heart, White Heart, and Purple Heart had nothing on her. Michelle couldn't understand why anyone would live anywhere else.

So, Michelle dedicated herself to her Goddess twofold. Just worshipping her alone gave her shares, but Michelle wasn't content with that. It wouldn't give Lady Black Heart an edge over her rivals. That's why Michelle was just about always accepting quests under the Lastation banner. She accepted so many quests on a regular basis that it was basically her _job_ \- in a way, Oracle Jinguji was her boss, even though she'd never met the woman.

Michelle was not the only person like this in Lastation, let alone Gamindustri as a whole. There were plenty of people like them. Enough so that there was an unofficial chain of command between them.

For two years, now, Michelle had been partying with a man named Muntzy- he was a Leanbox native, but he moved to Lastation the first chance he got due to his admiration of Lady Black Heart's work ethic. Of course, they didn't do the typical kill or gather quests- they did the more esoteric quests, the ones that bordered on law enforcement.

In fact, right now, the two were working on two quests at once- one of them was undercover, and the other _was_ that cover.

The Basilicom itself had quietly put out a quest to ensure that the work of famous game designer Charles Action stayed in Lastation's hands. Conveniently, Mr. Action's staff put out their own escort quest- Mr. Action was on vacation to Lastation's capital (he normally lived in the countryside), and his usual security wasn't enough in the hustle and bustle of the city.

Of course, it wasn't that simple. The reason the Basilicom was so convinced that Mr. Action's work was in danger of leaving Lastation was that they had received an anonymous tip telling them that a certain member of his staff was secretly on the payroll of a game company from Planeptune- the same staff member who put out the escort quest in the first place, Mr. Action's chief of security, Fred Wilson.

Unlike kill or fetch quests, which could be finished up in an afternoon, Michelle and Muntzy had been working on this quest for six months. Michelle was working the escort quest as a member of Mr. Action's security, while Muntzy worked from the shadows.

All the clues pointed to tonight being the big night. Charles was going to hit Lastation's most popular casino, Jak & Daxter's, and Wilson would make his move. Michelle and Muntzy had already uncovered Wilson's sidekick- a woman named Lonnie who, despite having no connection to Charles Action, always seemed to be in the vicinity. No surprise, Lonnie was a native of Planeptune who was supposedly in town as a tourist.

And now, things were heating up. The casino was loud, busy. Everywhere you looked, people were gambling, drinking, and generally having a good time. But at the same time, everywhere you looked, people were gambling, drinking, and generally having a bad time. The dichotomy between the winners and the losers was painfully obvious. It was why Michelle never could stand casinos. She tolerated their presence, since they brought Lastation's shares up, but actually being inside just made her feel guilty for not protesting their existence.

"Ha-hah!" Charles laughed loud enough that he could be heard even over the noise of the casino. "I can't lose!"

"Don't say that," his chief advisor, Tanya Walker, chuckled. "It's bad luck."

"I don't believe in luck," Charles reminded her, rolling the dice again. "I only believe in Lady Black Heart!"

Michelle chuckled in agreement from across the room, before turning to Wilson. He was staring at Charles with hate in his eyes- probably due to his announcement of loyalty to Lady Black Heart. Yeah, suck it up, pudding-worshipper.

Before she got too off-track, Wilson put his hand up to his wrist-mounted communicator. Michelle instantly looked for Lonnie- and soon found her nodding and heading for the nearest elevator.

Michelle pulled the inside of her jacket up to her face, pressing the hidden button.

"Muntzy," she whispered. "Get ready. Wilson just sent Lonnie to the elevator."

"If she's coming, I'll have a front-row seat," said Muntzy, who was in disguise as an electrician at the casino's hotel. "Let's get to it."

Michelle continued to scan the casino for any signs of danger. She didn't honestly expect anyone to want to hurt Charles, but just to be safe.

"She's here," Muntzy responded. "Headed right towards Action's suite."

"Keep me posted," said Michelle. "And _be careful_."

"Hey, remember, I've got ten years on you, Lieutenant," Muntzy reminded her. "If anything, I should be worried about _you_."

Michelle shook her head slightly, then continued searching. She started to walk in Charles' general direction, noticing slightly that Wilson was, too.

"Lonnie just left," said Muntzy. "Should I tail her?"

"Sure," said Michelle. "I'll deal with Action."

When she got there, Charles- carrying a pile of chips- was walking towards the elevator with Tanya, and Wilson stopped her.

"Stay with him," he ordered, as if he weren't a double agent. "He's worried that someone might try to take his chips."

Michelle just nodded and followed the pair. They were stopped at the elevator, arguing.

"Really, Charles," Tanya chided. "I really would feel much better if you took these to the cashier first."

"No, no, no," Charles started, before being interrupted by Michelle.

"Actually, that's great advice, sir," Michelle explained. "It'll be safer in your wallet than in your room."

Charles looked annoyed for a moment, then sighed.

"I suppose you're right, miss Long."

Charles headed over to the cashier- who thankfully wasn't far- while Michelle kept watch. Soon, Lonnie and Muntzy both came out of the elevator and headed for the exit.

"Stay alert, Muntzy, we still don't know who's with her," said Michelle. She continued to stand watch for a few seconds, until she heard Muntzy grunt over the radio. Her eyebrows furrowed.

"Muntzy?" she asked. "Muntzy? _Muntzy?!_ "

To hell with the quest, she needed to check on her partner.

"Mr. Action, wait here!" she patted him on the shoulder and ran off.

"Michelle, wait!" Tanya called. When Michelle didn't stop, Tanya ran off after her, leaving behind a confused Charles Action. "I said wait, Michelle!"

Once the two got outside, neither Muntzy nor Lonnie were anywhere in sight. However, Muntzy's health bar was dangerously low, and Michelle could still make out his icon on her minimap, so she ran to where he was.

"Muntzy!" she yelled, finally finding him lying on the ground bleeding in a parking spot. "Muntzy! Quick, Tanya, get help!"

"Wait… Michelle…" Muntzy coughed up blood. "Don't worry… get them…"

His eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he stopped breathing. Michelle's grief was quickly overtaken by anger.

"Tanya, you get back with Charles, I'm going after them. We're technically in the same party as Wilson, so I know where he's headed," she growled as she got in her car.

"I'm coming with you!" Tanya disagreed, getting into the passenger's seat.

* * *

"Michelle, how could you do that?!" Tanya cried. "You were hired to protect Charles, and you just left him behind!"

"These people don't care about your _boss_ anymore, Tanya," Michelle growled as she drove out of the city. "They got what they were after."

"What do you mean?" asked Tanya.

"I mean game designs!" Michelle yelled. "He had all the files on his latest game design with him. He's too paranoid to let it leave his side. But they got it anyways, and now, unless we stop them, Planeptune's gonna unwittingly commit plagiarism!"

"...Do you expect me to _believe_ that crazy story?" Tanya raised an eyebrow.

"Would you believe that dead Guildsman back there?!" yelled Michelle. "He was my partner! I was supposed to cover for him!"

Before long, they pulled up behind two cars. Wilson, Lonnie, and an unknown third man with a gun- likely another member of their team- were standing around them. Wilson watched them pull up in confusion.

"Everybody, freeze," said Michelle, stepping out of her car and holding up her own rapier, ready to cast a long-distance skill. "Drop the weapon."

The man hesitantly dropped his gun, then kicked it towards Michelle as Tanya stepped out of the car.

"Tanya, get his gun," Michelle ordered.

What happened next made all the blood drain from Michelle's face.

"No need," Tanya chuckled smugly, pulling a gun out from her coat. "I have my own."

"...Tanya?" asked Michelle, her voice shaking. "Y-you're with them?..."

"More like they're with me," she admitted as she sidled towards them. "They're my henchmen. Covered up my tracks pretty well, didn't I?"

"Y-you don't have to do this," Michelle choked out. "You don't have to hurt Lastation just to support Planeptune."

"Oh, Michelle, ever the loyalist," Tanya chuckled. "Goodbye, Michelle."

There was a flash of white, then everything went black.

* * *

When Michelle next awoke, she found herself covered from head to toe in bandages, and restrained so tightly she could barely move. Her jaw was even forced shut. All she could tell was that she wasn't alone in the room- she could feel the soft touch of the nurse fluffing her pillow and adjusting her IVs, and she heard shuffling elsewhere.

"How bad is it?" she heard a kind, older voice ask.

"Well, sir," a professional voice- likely a doctor- answered. "She's the only person in Gamindustri who's in worse shape than you."

"...Is she going to die?" the older man asked matter-of-factly.

"Should've," said the doctor. "She got shot point-blank in the face with a _very_ powerful skill. The only thing that kept her alive was a plate in her head- likely an enhancement to make fighting monsters easier. It deflected the bullet, protecting her brain… but wrecking her face. We'll never know what she looked like."

Upon hearing such an intense description of what happened to her, flashbacks started to fly through her mind. She began to struggle and moan in pain.

" _Goodbye, Michelle."_

"Good," the older man said, his voice suddenly much closer, as if he were looking over her. "Keep fighting. Keep surviving. Just like me…"

Michelle's consciousness began to fade once more.

* * *

 _*Commercial Bumper*_

* * *

 **Michelle's opinions are not necessarily my own. You know how Michelle doesn't like Uni because she considers her a "childish Noire ripoff"? Not my feelings. I can appreciate the differences, but Michelle is blinded by her worship of Noire.**

" **Jak & Daxter's" is a reference to the Naughty Dog series Jak & Daxter. I chose it because it was the first Playstation title I could think of that sounded like it could be the name of a casino.**

 **I've already got chapters 2 and 3 mostly done, and they're both longer than this one- I just put the commercial bumpers in at the same points they were at in the original episode. I also think that chapters 2 and 3 read far better than this one, most likely due to the fact that, in the original episode, we didn't really know what was going on during this first part, which makes it a bit harder to transcribe it. I am very proud of that opening narration, though.**


	2. In the Basilicom

**This episode feels like it's going by awfully quickly to me, but there's not much I can do about it due to the fact that I'm working with a pre-existing episode.**

 **I can't promise anything, but I'm pretty sure that future episodes will be a little less rushed because then I'll be able to write whatever the hell I want, rather than following the plot beats of the original episodes.**

* * *

When Michelle next awoke, she found that her bandages were being removed. Was this it? Was she finally recovered enough to actually interact with the outside world again?

While her eyes were still covered, she heard feet shuffling into the room.

"I've got good news," a familiar-sounding female voice said. "The Knight 2000-"

"Shh shh shh shh," the older man dismissed. "Wait."

As her bandages were slowly removed, Michelle groggily opened her eyes, blinking the sleep out. She looked around, finding the doctor who had removed her bandages standing above her, and to his side were the old man- who looked just as kind as she'd imagined- and…

"Oracle Jinguji?!" Michelle instantly sat straight up. Was the Oracle of Lastation seriously in her hospital room, looking right at her?

Looking around, Michelle realized that the decor in the room matched the general aesthetic style of Lastation's Basilicom. Did that mean?-

"Before you get too excited, you might want to check yourself out," the doctor chuckled, holding up a mirror. "I think I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself."

Michelle took the mirror and looked at herself. She couldn't recognize the face in the mirror- but that was okay. Before, she'd been a plain, minor character. Now, she was pretty and cute enough that she could actually see herself playing a major role in the defense of Lastation. This just gave her so many more opportunities to support her Goddess!

"She is rather pretty," Kei admitted. Michelle instantly tore her eyes away from the mirror to look at Kei with an incredulous expression. Did that just happen? Did _Kei Jinguji_ of all people just call her pretty? The girl who most Guildsmen agreed was probably _asexual_?

"Now, now," the older gentleman sighed. "We mustn't get her _too_ excited. Remember, this is all new for her. We might want to explain at least a _little_ bit."

"Well, this isn't my conversation," the doctor admitted, walking towards the door. "I'll just see myself out."

The old man simply smiled warmly at Michelle.

"My name is Wilton Knight," he explained as the doctor left. "A trusted advisor to Lady Noire for over sixty years. I've chosen you."

"For what?" asked Michelle. "And why?"

"Mr. Knight is on his last legs," Kei explained. "He's old, and he's getting less healthy every day. But he wants to keep contributing to Lastation- no, to all of Gamindustri."

"You'll see what your purpose is in due time, young miss Long," said Wilton. "For now, just know one thing- Michelle Long is dead, and you must not leave the Basilicom under any circumstances until we allow it. It's for your own safety- the people who thought they killed you would undoubtedly try to get you again if they knew you were alive."

With that, Wilton and Kei left the room, leaving Michelle to stew in what she was just told.

* * *

Michelle jogged around the Basilicom. She wasn't permitted in the CPU chambers- not that she'd ever dare go there anyways, she didn't want to bother Lady Black Heart or _be bothered by_ Lady Uni- but she was given free reign of basically all of the hallways, and she was taking advantage of that fact.

At some point, she found herself in an atrium of sorts, with a balcony looking on from above. Up on the balcony, she saw Kei and Wilton discussing something while watching her. If they were watching her, they were almost certainly talking about her- and if they were talking about her, then she certainly deserved to be involved in the conversation. So, she found herself running up the stairs to them.

"...got crews working double shifts," Kei finished explaining something to Wilton.

"Make it around the clock," he ordered. "I want it done within 48 hours."

"48-" she started to argue, but the argument died in her throat. "Do you think that you'll…?"

"Not important," he said. "Just do it."

Kei sighed and sped off just as Michelle made her way over.

"Well, hello, miss Long," Wilton greeted. "Don't you think you're overexerting yourself?"

"I need to get back into shape," she panted. "I was in a hospital bed for a month, you know?"

"Of course, of course," he said. "Speaking of that… would you like to help me get back at the people who put you in that bed?"

"I don't know if you noticed, but my last partner is dead," said Michelle. "No offense, but I work alone from now on. I can't be held responsible for anyone's life but my own."

"Hmm," hummed Wilton, looking down at his feet. "And you're certain of that?"

"I'm very grateful for what you've done for me, Mr. Knight," she nodded. "But I just want to get back to supporting Lady Black Heart in my own way. I don't even plan on getting revenge."

"You don't?" asked Wilton. "Even though they're going to continue to hurt both Lastation and Planeptune if you don't?"

"I can't beat them," Michelle admitted. "They're too big, but not big enough to have the CPUs solve the problem for us. They're not Kurome or Arfoire, they're just a rogue game company."

"I disagree," Wilton shook his head. "You can always do something."

"Well," Michelle sighed. "You can have your opinion."

Michelle started to get back to jogging, but stopped. She noticed that an _awful_ lot of engineers were going in and out of a door that seemed way too small for how isolated it was. It was so far away from any other doors that it had to lead to a very big room, and yet, it had a standard door that could have just as easily been the front door to someone's apartment. It was suspicious.

Even though she didn't have clearance to go in there, she would have to check it out later.

* * *

Check it out later she did. Early in the morning, before everyone else woke up, she snuck her way over to the door.

She looked around, making sure nobody was looking, then opened the door and crept in, quietly closing it behind her.

With the exception of a single spotlight in the middle of the room, all of the lights were off, but the morning sun shining through the windows made it clear that the room was two stories tall, and that this door led out onto a catwalk. She climbed down the stairs and made her way over to the illuminated circle of light.

Looking around curiously, she eventually noticed a red light going back and forth, left and right, slowly and carefully. She furrowed her brow, wondering what it was she was looking at, when an engine suddenly roared to life and more lights- resembling headlights- came to life below it. A car of some kind?

The lights suddenly sped towards her and she instinctively backed up, but it stopped just before reaching her. In the light, it was clear that this _was_ indeed a car- the red light was positioned where the grill normally would be. The jet-black car was also fairly sporty- a good deal fancier than most cars. Its design just _screamed_ Lastation. The lights suddenly turned on.

"Well, Lady Uni, I think you've had enough fun with our guest," said Wilton, next to the lightswitch.

The car's driver side door opened and- to Michelle's shock- Lady Uni herself stepped out.

"She was sneaking around, though!" Uni protested. "Doesn't she know it's rude to sneak around uninvited?!"

"Well, she does deserve answers," Wilton admitted. Michelle processed what he said, and her confusion turned to anger.

"...You're damn right I do!" she yelled. "What the hell's been going on in here?! I see people sneaking in and out day and night-"

"Like you're one to talk," Uni rolled her eyes.

"-and all that's in here is a car?" she asked, ignoring Uni's interruption. "...You know what? I don't care anymore. I'm leaving tonight. And I'm taking _my_ car with me, wherever you put it."

Wilton simply sighed and leaned harder on his cane.

"Very well," he answered, limping away. "Uni, show her the car. I need… I need to get some more sleep…"

Michelle sadly watched him leave, already feeling guilty for snapping at him like that. This man didn't have much time left, and he'd given her her life back, and here she was, giving him shit just because he wasn't telling her everything he knew.

"You just struck a dying man," Uni spat. The insult struck Michelle's already raw nerves.

"Hey, I happen to like the old guy," Michelle glared back. "I'm just tired of being cooped up in here. I thought you were gonna show me my car?"

"It's right here," she said, pointing at the car she just got out of.

"That's not my car," Michele deadpanned. "My car doesn't have weird red lights on it."

"Your _old_ car doesn't," Uni corrected. " _This_ is the Knight Industries Two Thousand- KITT for short. Gamindustri's most advanced automobile."

Michelle walked closer to the car and began to feel the hood.

"This is a really nice paintjob," she admitted. "I can see my reflection clearly."

"Oh, that's not paint," Uni grinned. "That's its natural color. It's a state-of-the-art alloy based partially on a processor unit, among other things."

"So, it's metal that's naturally black?" Michelle looked over for clarification.

"We usually call it a 'Molecular Bonded Shell'," Uni shook her head. "Since it's not exactly metal. Or fiberglass, either."

Uni then pulled one of her heavier-caliber rifles out of her inventory.

"Here," she said, holding it out to Michelle. "Take a shot."

"I'm not gonna shoot my car!" said Michelle. "It's beau-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Uni took the shot herself, causing Michelle to scream and jump back in surprise. However, there wasn't even a dent in it.

"It's fine?" asked Michelle, slowly lowering her arms back to their normal position.

"It's practically indestructible," Uni explained. "Like, if I got into HDD and really tried, I could probably destroy it, but normal weapons won't even leave a scratch."

Michelle slowly wandered towards the driver's door and opened it. Uni noticed and ran towards the passenger's seat herself. Once they were both seated, Michelle spoke up again.

"What is this?" she asked. "It looks like Anonydeath's bathroom."

"All the equipment that you need to use KITT at its best," said Uni, ignoring (or possibly just not noticing) the burning question of how Michelle knew about Anonydeath. "It's a very complicated vehicle. Of course, its onboard computers can handle most stuff for you."

"Right…" Michelle said. "Anything in particular I need to know?"

"It'll never crash," said Uni. "Unless you want it to, of course."

"Never?" asked Michelle. " _How_?"

"Its onboard computers can fine-tune your driving," Uni explained. "Do you need me to teach you?"

"I know how to drive, Lady Uni," Michelle chuckled and stepped on the gas. The car rocketed forwards, right through the wall and out onto the streets of Lastation. They were lucky that it was early in the morning, and there was no real traffic to disrupt. "I thought you said it wouldn't crash."

"Well, you need to turn it _on_ , first," Uni sighed, reaching under her seat and pressing a hidden button, then pressing a sequence of buttons on a keypad just under the gear shift.

"Right," Michelle nodded. "I knew that."

"Sure you did."

* * *

As the pair continued driving down the road, they came upon a semi truck.

"I think this is as good a time as any," Uni smirked. "Try to crash into the semi."

"Alright," Michelle chuckled. "I'm playing chicken with a semi!"

However, moments before the car actually hit the semi-

[NORMAL CRUISE] - [AUTO CRUISE]

-the car swerved out of the way and passed the semi before returning to the proper lane.

"What happened?!" Michelle cried. "I lost control of the car! It drove itself!"

"I know! Awesome, right?!" Uni giggled. "Man, Nepgear would _love_ this!"

" _I_ hate it!" Michelle argued, and Uni's laughter died down. "I want to be in control!"

"The computer determined that you were being stupid," she pointed out. "It had two options- maneuver around the truck, or slow down."

"Well, why didn't it slow down?!" cried Michelle. "That would have been safer!"

"Well…" Uni trailed off.

"Well, what?!" Michelle prodded. "Did I find a flaw in your perfect machine?!"

"No, it's not a flaw, just…" Uni started scratching her cheek nervously, looking away. "...It was showing off for you."

Michelle angrily pulled over at the side of the road.

"So, you're telling me that this thing can just go for gas or to get a car wash all on its own?" she asked.

"Is that really all that weird?" Uni asked. "I mean, _my_ friends include Brave and Steamax."

"This thing is a car! It's different!" Michelle argued. "What if it drives off while I'm working under it, huh!?"

"Aw, it'd never do that," Uni waved away the concern. "Its primary function is the preservation of human life. _Your_ life."

"You mean whoever's driving it," Michelle sighed dejectedly. It wasn't a question.

"No, I mean _your_ life," Uni disagreed. "It's programmed to protect _you_ , Michelle Amanda Long."

Michelle turned to Uni in surprise. Uni sighed.

"I think that's enough for now. Let's just go home."

* * *

Upon returning to the Basilicom, Michelle and Uni had immediately been accosted by Basilicom staff members who rushed them to Wilton's room. When they arrived, Kei and Lady Black Heart were already there.

Even in a situation like this, Michelle had to restrain herself so that she didn't make a scene in front of her Goddess- even if her Goddess didn't look particularly powerful right now, kneeling by an old man's bedside and grasping his hand in her own.

For his part, Wilton looked terrible. He was covered in an incredible amount of sweat, and he was having trouble even keeping his eyes open for very long. He wasn't doing well.

The scene ripped Michelle up inside. Just hours earlier, she had been yelling at this man for daring to keep things to himself, and now, he was just about dead. The guilt gnawed at her like an Ancient Dragon gnawing on an unlucky adventurer.

"Michelle…" he managed to wheeze out. Lady Black Heart turned, noticed her, and got up, walking out of the way so Michelle could get closer.

"...Yes, sir?" she asked.

"It… falls to you, now," he gasped. "You can… protect the helpless… from those who abuse their power…"

"How?" asked Michelle. "I'm just some human. What am I supposed to do?"

"Whatever… you can," he answered. "There's always… something…"

And with that, he stopped breathing. Uni trembled in the corner. Lady Black Heart looked out sadly at the man before excusing herself. Kei put a hand on Michelle's shoulder.

"You okay?" asked Kei. It wasn't until Kei asked that Michelle realized she was crying.

"...Yeah," Michelle answered, wiping a tear from her eye. "In fact…"

* * *

Michelle stormed up to KITT.

"Miss Long, where are you going?!" Kei shouted.

"Planeptune!" Michelle answered. "I heard you mentioning that they found Tanya there!"

"You were eavesdropping?!" Kei asked incredulously.

"No, you just said it so loud that Purple Heart herself could have heard it," Michelle answered, opening the door.

"Wait just a second!" Kei ran up, handing Michelle a wallet.

"What's this for?" asked Michelle.

"Your new identity," said Kei. "Michelle Long is dead, remember? Mr. Knight arranged all of this. Driver's license, ID, credit cards- it's all there."

Michelle took one look at her new driver's license and chuckled.

"Michelle Knight, huh?" she said. "I can work with this."

"Oh, and one more thing, miss Lo-" Kei started, before being cut off by Michelle holding up the wallet. "...Miss _Knight_. There's still a lot you don't know about KITT, and it might try to teach you. Don't refuse it. It knows stuff that you'll need to."

"I think I'll be okay," Michelle rolled her eyes and grinned. " _Thanks_. Oh, and, Kei?"

"Yes, miss Knight?" she asked.

"You know, I think I'm actually starting to like you, now," Michelle's grin changed into a smile, and she drove off before Kei could react.

Of course, she left behind a Kei who was blushing furiously.

"That woman…" she grumbled, and stormed off back into the Basilicom, trying to hide her goofy smile.

* * *

Soon, Michelle was well on her way to the Lastation/Planeptune border, right next to the Gamindustri Graveyard. However, after about five minutes of driving, she realized that it felt very bare.

"They gave you all this equipment, you'd think they'd put in a radio," she muttered. "How can I listen to some music in here?"

"Would you like to peruse my premade music library?" an unknown voice asked. Michelle immediately slammed on the brakes.

"Who's there?!" she demanded, looking around.

"Me," the voice answered again. "Look above the steering wheel."

Michelle turned, and then noticed a small screen on the display, just above the steering wheel.

"Good," said the unknown voice. A trio of red lines appeared on the screen as it spoke, the middle line longer than the other two. "You've finally noticed."

"What are you?" Michelle asked.

"I'm KITT," the voice answered.

"You can _talk_?" she asked.

"It would be unnecessarily cruel to program me with such advanced intelligence, and then not give me a way to communicate," KITT pointed out, almost sounding _amused_. "Why? Does it bother you?"

" _Yes_ , actually," Michelle grumbled. "I don't want a car that talks back to me, so shut up, okay?"

"Your wish is my command," KITT simply sighed, then became silent. However, jazz music started to play over the car's speakers.

" _That's_ better," Michelle smirked, starting to drive towards the mountains again. "Stay like this, and you won't bother me _too_ much."

* * *

Unsurprisingly, the drive from Lastation to Planeptune was a long one. However, what Michelle had not anticipated was how tired she was. She hadn't slept since she snuck into KITT's garage early that morning, and she barely slept much before that. After several hours on the road, she started to get drowsy. She fought it, though, and bravely stayed awake.

Or, at least she thought she did. One moment, she was driving just fine; the next thing she knew, another car- labelled "Official Property of the Planeptune Guild" with an active police siren on top- was driving right next to her, its driver banging on KITT's roof. She was also far closer to Planeptune than she thought she was, and KITT was on auto cruise.

"KITT, pull over!" she ordered. The car immediately obeyed. "What happened?!"

"You fell asleep," it explained. "I tried to warn you, but you were _really_ out of it."

"Well, why didn't you wake me up?" she asked.

"You told me to be quiet," it answered honestly. Michelle grumbled in response. "Anyways, that Guildsman is coming up to you. Since you were ignoring her and resting your head against the window, I'd suggest that you pretend to be hard of hearing, and have a slight kink in your neck."

"Oh, shut up," Michelle grumbled, before rolling down the windows.

A brunette girl in a large blue coat walked up.

"What in the world were you doing?" she asked.

" _WHAT?!_ " Michelle yelled, holding up her hand to her ear, and rubbing the back of her neck with her other hand. " _COULD YOU SPEAK A BIT MORE SLOWLY, OR IN SIGN LANGUAGE?!_ "

"She's deaf?" the girl asked, before shaking her head. "I guess that could explain everything, like how she was able to drive so smoothly through those curves… _THERE'S NO PROBLEM! BUT IN THE FUTURE, KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR REAR-VIEW MIRROR! I'VE BEEN_ _ **FLASHING**_ _YOU FOR MILES!_ "

The girl wandered back to her own car, casting a suspicious glance at Michelle that she clearly wasn't supposed to have noticed. Then, she sighed, and got back into her car, driving off in another direction. Michelle rolled the windows back up, and started driving again.

"Keep an eye out for that girl," Michelle ordered the car. "Something seems off about her."

They were almost there.

* * *

 _*Commercial Bumper*_

* * *

 **So, lots of new characters in this chapter. Yes, the girl at the end was IF, and yes, she's gonna keep being important.**

 **Also- KITT is incredibly fun to write.**

 **People who actually remember the original episode's plot may notice a number of changes that have nothing to do with integrating it into the Neptunia universe. For instance, I split Devon's role in the story between Kei and Uni. I chose to do this because I decided that Kei was too professional to pull the stuff Devon pulled in the KITT reveal scene, so I used Uni for that scene instead.**

 **Another thing that changed was… I removed a completely superfluous plot point. In the original episode, Micheal's car was a black 1982 Trans-Am, the same model of car that KITT was based on. When they finally revealed KITT, Micheal assumed- for some strange reason- that it was his car, and he had a really nonsensical conversation with Devon where Devon tried to convince Micheal that KITT was** _ **not**_ **his old car. The scene made no sense, wasn't funny, and served no plot purpose whatsoever. I have no idea what it was doing there. In fact, as a child, I even** _ **misunderstood**_ **the scene and thought that they were saying KITT was intentionally designed based on Michael's old car, which, combined with KARR's existence, created a small plothole that annoyed the hell out of me as a child. So, you can also add "confused children" to the list of things that made that scene so bad. So, I got rid of it, and instead changed it to a more understandable and funnier joke where Uni tried to explain that KITT belonged to Michelle now and Michelle misunderstood it. And before anyone says it wasn't funny- I didn't say it was funny, I said it was funnier. The original scene really was terrible.**

 **Finally, I figured this was worth mentioning since I said at the beginning that I haven't actually played any Neptunia games: yes, I know that the Oracles (excluding Histoire) are missing in the later games. Interestingly, I've only ever seen people actually acknowledge their absence in post-Megadimension fics, even though they were** _ **also**_ **missing in Victory, and the dialogue explaining their absence in both games seems to imply that, rather than being absent** _ **again**_ **in Megadimension, they're** _ **still**_ **absent in Megadimension.**

 **Anyways, the idea here is that Noire decided that she needed Kei to come back to help deal with Wilton's stuff. Her pre-existing Oracle duties are still fairly light, but she was also helping Wilton, and now that he's dead, she's in charge of Knight Industries.**


	3. Welcome to Seganet

**Starting in this chapter, we start to see a few scenes from KITT's point of view. From here on out, this will be the norm- some scenes will be from Michelle's POV, others will be from KITT's, and on occasion we'll even get some scenes from the point of view of** _ **other**_ **protagonist characters. Maybe even non-protagonists, in future episodes.**

 **In case anyone gets confused about pronouns- for now, scenes from KITT's perspective refer to him as he/him/etc, while scenes from Michelle's perspective refer to him as** _ **it**_ **, because she doesn't respect him as a living thing. For now, at least. That's gonna change.**

 **As for why Kei and Uni referred to him as 'it' before and are suddenly referring to him as 'him'?... I've got no idea, either. This is something that just got carried over from the original episode. It was a clumsy attempt at trying to hide the fact that KITT was a person. I couldn't think of a way to do that other than just not bothering with hiding it in the first place, and that idea was reaaaaally tempting (especially since there wasn't even really much point to hiding it to begin with), but I decided against it because again, I want to make Michelle and KITT start off on the same foot that Michael and KITT did.**

 **The farther I get in this episode, the more I find myself feeling unsatisfied with it (the pacing feels a bit too rushed, and I don't feel like there's enough of an emotional aspect to the story- I like feeling intense emotions in the stories I read, and I've got some pretty emotional plans for future episodes), but at the same time, the more I feel like there's not much I can do about it since I'm working within the limitations of the original episode. I COULD have taken a slightly different, more introspective direction that further explored what few themes there are, but since there are already two chapters out, it's a bit too late for that. I may just end up giving a brief synopsis of this episode at the beginning of the next, so that people don't have to read this one to read the others.**

* * *

Michelle soon arrived in the booming town of Seganet, Planeptune. It was a fairly young town, but it was quickly becoming a prestigious place of research- several game companies flocked there to do their work.

She pulled into the local bar, Night Trap, and parked, looking up at the sign.

"Night Trap, huh?" she said. "Seems like a nice place."

"Really?" KITT asked. "To me, it sounds like the kind of place that would generate so much controversy that they'd need to create an entire organization strictly for the purpose of regulating bars. Of course, the controversy would be blown out of proportion, and another bar that played host to gory, fatal bar fights would also be involved, but the point still stands."

"Don't get too meta," Michelle warned, getting out. "And I thought I told you to shut up?"

"I'll be good," the car answered, falling silent once more. Michelle glanced up to see a group of girls giggling amongst themselves, glancing at Michelle. She supposed it was odd to see a woman arguing with her car.

"Ladies," she nods, and the girls rolled their eyes and wandered into the bar. After a moment of waiting, Michelle made her own way in.

* * *

After Michelle left, KITT was left all to his lonesome. He wasn't exactly bored or anything- he had access to the internep, and he had all sorts of Lastation games pre-installed on his computer. However, this did not change the fact that he was alone.

Soon enough, a blue car pulled up right next to him, and two individuals stepped out. One of them was a literal mouse, and the other was a pale, green-haired girl in a hoodie.

"Hey, check this out!" the green-haired girl grinned. "This is a _nice car_."

"Yeah, we could totally use a ride like this, chu," the mouse agreed. The green-haired girl fished out an electronic lockpick, and KITT prepared his cyberwarfare suite for any hacking attempts. "Hey, wait a minute, you're not thinking of taking it now, are you? Might I remind you that we're in the most popular- and most populated- part of town, chu?"

"...Fine," the green-haired girl sighed, putting the lockpick away. "We'll have other opportunities. It's not like this'll be the last time we see this car."

The two walked back into their own car and sped off, to KITT's relief. He didn't want to have to start a scene. With that, he returned to playing video games. It wasn't like he had anything better to do, and Fursona 5 was a lot more fun than he had been expecting.

* * *

After an incident where a waitress dumped a drink on her shorts after mentioning that she was an "old friend of Tanya Walker," Michelle stomped off to the bathroom to try and dry off a bit. However, she quickly realized that Lonnie was standing nearby- and watching.

"I heard everything," said Lonnie, stopping Michelle before she could get to the bathroom. "What are you looking for Tanya Walker for?"

"I, uh, want something from her," Michelle explained.

"She's already got a boyfriend, so I don't think she's in the market for a girlfriend," Lonnie chuckled.

"I'm not interested in her body," Michelle shook her head. A plan suddenly occurred to her. "Actually, I'm interested in her _money_. I have something I want to sell her."

"Really?" Lonnie smirked. "Who should I tell her is looking to sell?"

"Michelle Knight," said Michelle, backing up into the bathroom. "Actually, do you know where I might be able to find her?"

"There's going to be a demolition derby tomorrow," Lonnie explained. "Comtron is hosting it."

"Got it," said Michelle, deciding that she would pretend to know what Comtron was for now. "I suppose I'll see a pretty girl like you there?"

"You might," Lonnie's smirk turned teasing. "If you can find me, that is~"

Michelle grinned and finished making her way into the bathroom, dropping the expression the moment Lonnie was out of sight. She definitely didn't enjoy flirting with people she didn't like. She almost felt like gagging.

Revelations about what she was willing to do for the sake of the mission aside, she got to work drying her shorts with the wall-mounted blow dryer.

* * *

Halfway across town, KITT had found Michelle a payphone. He determined that if they tried calling anyone with KITT's built-in communicator, anyone monitoring the signals might get suspicious, so a payphone would have to make a good substitute. He watched as she made her call, listening in on the conversation.

"Michelle?" asked Kei. "Where are you?"

"I'm in Seganet," Michelle answered. "I'm surprised you don't already know, since you have a _spy_."

"A spy?" she asked again. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"KITT," said Michelle. Really? She thought he was spying on her? Well, at the moment, he _was_ eavesdropping, but that hardly counted. He was physically there for the conversation, she just refused to acknowledge his presence.

"KITT would never do that," said Kei. "He only answers to y-"

" _It_ ," Michelle corrected.

"Huh?"

"I said _it_ ," she repeated. "It's a car, not a person."

KITT felt his heart sink. Which was bizarre, considering he didn't have one. Was this how it felt to be dehumanized? Uni and Noire probably never had to deal with being dehumanized like this. KITT suddenly felt slightly jealous that they got to be humanoid.

"You're not being very fair," Kei argued. "He's an invaluable part of Lastation's team."

KITT tore his attention away from the conversation when he noticed a familiar blue car pull up. Oh, _no_. Not these two again.

"I'd say now is the time," the green-haired girl chuckled, pulling out the electronic lockpick again. "Time to get to work, that is."

KITT was prepared. He analyzed the serial number on her pick, then used that to find the blueprints and source code for that model on the internep. It was a low-end model that was several years old. _Amateur_. Based on both, he spontaneously programmed a virus that would create an endless loop within the code; because of a well-known (and well-complained-about by hackers on forums) design flaw, endless loops overclocked the pick's battery to the point of explosion. This all took approximately two seconds- the moment she aimed the pick's transceiver at his key sensor, he was already transmitting the virus, and within moments, the pick sparked and began to smoke.

"Ah!" the green-haired girl hissed in pain, dropping the pick and shaking her hands rapidly before sucking on the burnt finger. "The hell happened to my pick?"

"Hold on, chu," the mouse said. "You gotta try something _physical_."

He picked up a brick, then threw it at KITT's window. It bounced off and hit the green-haired girl in the head.

"Augh!" she cried. "Come on, let's get out of here!"

The two retreated to their own car again and drove off. KITT wondered if it was really safe to drive after being hit in the head with a brick, but didn't linger on the thought, returning to Michelle and Kei's conversation.

"Anyways, I'm entering KITT into a demolition derby," Michelle explained. "Comtron, the game company Tanya's working for, is hosting it as a charity fundraiser."

"Good work," Kei answered. "...Wait, what exactly _is_ a demolition derby?"

"It's a race," Michelle answered.

"Oh, excellent," KITT could tell even over the phone that Kei was smiling. "I don't have a single doubt that KITT will win."

"And at the end, the cars all get destroyed!" Michelle beamed. KITT backed up slightly, surprised by how enthusiastically she'd said that.

" _Excuse me?!_ " That wasn't Kei- it was Uni. She must have been in the room when Michelle called.

"What's the problem?" asked Michelle. "If KITT's half the car you guys say it is, it should be fine."

"He's never been tested under those kinds of circumstances!" Kei argued.

"Right!" Uni agreed. "That's like throwing a random child into the deep end of a pool to see if they can swim or not!"

"Look, this is my only chance to see Tanya," said Michelle. "She's going to be there, and I don't have any other leads. From the sound of things, she rarely ever goes out in public."

"...Fine," Kei sighed. "Just… don't do anything too reckless."

"I won't," Michelle promised, hanging up the phone and turning back to KITT. "You're not gonna cause any trouble either, right? You're not gonna decide that I'm getting in your way and that you need to get rid of me?"

"Michelle, my primary function is to keep you safe," KITT reminded her as she walked over. Honestly, humans could be so insecure sometimes. "I might decide that someone is getting in _your_ way and that I need to get rid of _them_ , though."

"Don't go all yandere on me," Michelle warned, opening the door and climbing into the driver's seat. KITT would have rolled his eyes if he had them.

"It was a joke, Michelle," he said. "And I thought you said not to get too meta?"

"Stop being a smart aleck," she said. "Let's just find somewhere to stay tonight, then we'll get you in that derby tomorrow."

* * *

"Welcome to the annual Comtron demolition derby!" the announcer yelled over the microphone.

"I hope we aren't too late to enter," Michelle mumbled, pulling into a spot.

"Their rules are online," said KITT. "They're accepting drivers right up until the moment the derby begins."

"Good," Michelle answered as she got out. After slamming the door and looking up, her heart nearly stopped.

Tanya was at the registration booth. The memories started to rush back, and Michelle was frozen for a couple seconds as she relived her last moments as Michelle Long. She felt something brush against her legs, snapping her out of the flashback, and she turned- KITT had opened its door slightly, bumping into her legs. Now that she was back in reality, she realized that she was panting and sweating.

"I'm right here," the car tried to reassure her. It had probably sensed her elevated heartbeat. "You're okay. Everything is okay. She can't hurt you in broad daylight like this, and if she _does_ try something, I'm here to protect you."

Michelle took a deep breath, steeled herself, and made her way over.

"Hey!" Michelle greeted, though it came out sounding more threatening than she intended. Tanya glanced up.

"We already have a caterer," she said. Thankfully, she didn't seem to recognize Michelle.

"I'm not a caterer," said Michelle. "I'm Michelle Knight."

"Oh," Tanya rolled her eyes. "The woman who was looking for me. Whatever it is you're selling, I'm not interested- I've already got the best third-party game company in all of Planeptune."

"You don't know what it is I'm selling, though," Michelle pointed out. "In fact, I'm looking to register for the derby to show off a bit. If I win, feel free to give all my money to the charity."

"What's going on?" a man asked, walking up to the two. His badge read _Benjamin Crock - President of Comtron_.

"Hi!" Michelle smiled at him. "I'm your only independent driver."

"We don't accept jalopies," the man shook his head.

"Oh, my car is no jalopy," Michelle gestured towards KITT. "Take a look for yourself."

"Well, isn't that a mighty fine car?" the man chuckled. "Tanya, darling, go ahead and enter them in."

Tanya sighed and started to write something on her clipboard. Michelle just smiled in victory, making her way back to KITT. Inside, though, Michelle was worried- while Tanya clearly didn't recognize her, she was still clearly suspicious. Michelle would have to play it safe with her.

* * *

On the track, Michelle looked around at the other drivers. They all appeared to be trucker types, which clashed with their shiny new cars, but she supposed that was because they were all on Comtron's payroll. They probably just picked their own truck drivers because it was the cheapest solution.

The moment the event began, she slammed on the gas, speeding ahead of the other drivers. Two of them were so shocked that they forgot what they were doing for a moment and crashed into each other, getting them out of the race almost immediately.

"Would you look at that, ladies and gentlemen?!" the announcer called. "That's the fastest little car I've seen in months! The last time I saw speed like that was on an actual racecar!"

Michelle couldn't bask in her victory for long, though. She wanted to make KITT out to be a better-than-normal car, but she didn't want to go too far, so she slowed down- creating the implication that it was just a short-term boost, probably a nitro tank of some kind. That was common in racing games, right? Of course, this gave the other drivers the opportunity to catch up to her, and now, she was surrounded.

Two cars ahead of her were so close together that she couldn't possibly fit between them, and going around them wasn't an option, either, thanks to the cars at her side. Just as she started to get frustrated at how they were clearly leading her around, KITT spoke up.

"Might I suggest Ski Mode?" asked KITT. Michelle ignored her instinct to tell it to shut up just this once, finding and pressing the button that it had offered. There were two, but given that they were labelled "Ski L" and "Ski R," she determined that it didn't matter which one she pressed.

[SKI R]

Instantly, hydraulics on KITT's left side pushed it upwards and onto its side- it was now driving with only its right-hand wheels, making it thin enough to fit between the cars. Michelle slammed on the gas again to get past the two cars before they could force her to crash into the side walls protecting the crowd. Once they were past, KITT carefully fell back into its normal position with only a little bit of bumpiness as the crowd went wild. The two cars that had tried to force her into crashing instead crashed into the wall themselves.

"Why, I've only seen moves like that in a stunt show!" the announcer called. "Our independent driver Michelle Knight is turning out to be one little bundle of surprises!"

She wasn't out of the woods yet, though. There were still plenty of other drivers on the track, and she wasn't done until they were all out of commission.

"Michelle, the driver in the bright pink car is having problems with his brakes," KITT suggested, a wireframe of the car in question appearing on its screen, highlighting the problematic part. "If we force him to stop fast enough, his brakes should fail completely."

"Alright, so I need to bait him," said Michelle. "Easy enough- I just need to find an obstacle that he won't see until it's too late."

She drove into the middle of the track, grinning when the pink car took the bait. She was driving right at a concrete wall partition in the middle, almost certainly intended for crashing cars into. When she was several yards away, she swerved to the left and out of the way, and the pink driver crashed into the wall.

"Ooh, and the ever-popular Hikigaya is out! He should have been able to stop in time, but for some reason, he didn't!" the announcer said. "Is he going senile? Is it perhaps time for Hikigaya to retire?"

"Not a chance," Michelle chuckled. "There are still drivers left, though."

"Yes, and two of them are coming up right behind you," said KITT. "Try the oil slick."

"Is that allowed?" Michelle asked. "That seems like the sort of thing that would be against the rules."

"It might be," KITT admitted. "But they might not notice, and even if they do, we're here to get attention, not to win."

"That's a good point," Michelle agreed, pressing the button in question.

[OIL SLICK]

A faucet next to KITT's exhaust sprayed oil all over the track behind her. The two drivers almost immediately began to slip and slide, and eventually crashed into each other.

"Ooh, and Martinez and Uduma lost control of their vehicles and crashed right into each other!" the announcer called. "Now, Knight and Brown are the only drivers left! Which will it be, folks?"

Michelle didn't even realize until the announcer said so that there was only one other driver left. Hadn't there been fifteen? Of course, not all of them crashed due to her, she realized. There were probably plenty of unrelated crashes. It's not like all the other drivers were on a team.

She quickly found the last car- fittingly, Brown was driving a brown car.

"Any suggestions?" asked Michelle.

"Now that we only have to worry about the one car, we can be a little bit more slow and careful," KITT explained. "This gives us a lot more options for cautious destruction."

"Alright," said Michelle, turning around to drive at Brown's side. "Here we go."

She drove right at the side of Brown's car, but not fast enough to cause a serious crash. However, she didn't stop when she hit him, instead continuing on and pushing him. His tires squealed against the pavement as he tried to drive away, but the force of KITT was stronger than the force of his own engine, especially since he had no real traction to get moving.

As the metal of Brown's car began to compress against the side wall, the announcer spoke up.

"And all cars are now out of commission! Michelle Knight wins!"

Michelle smirked the smuggest smirk she could as she drove away from Brown's car and back towards the parking lot. As she passed Tanya, she rolled her windows down.

"This is what I'm offering!" Michelle shouted, Tanya staring with an unimpressed expression. "Meet me at the Night Trap at seven!"

With that, Michelle drove off. She had to get ready for tonight.

* * *

"So, I won, and there's not a scratch on KITT," Michelle finished, leaning over as if to look down on the payphone. "You happy?"

"I suppose I'm not as angry as I _could_ be," Kei grumbled. "This isn't remotely what I was expecting from this, though. It makes me wonder why Wilton chose you."

KITT couldn't pay attention to the conversation at hand, though, as a familiar blue car reared its face once more. Fine! If these two wanted to drive him so bad, then so be it! He instantly rolled down his windows to let them see that he was ripe for the picking. They'd learn their lesson soon enough.

"Hey, check it out!" the green-haired girl beamed. "The windows are down! Now's our chance!"

The two quickly got in and drove off, leaving a bewildered Michelle behind.

"Hey, wait, come back here!" Michelle yelled, dropping the phone and running after them.

"Michelle?" asked Kei over the phone. "Michelle, what's happened? Mich…"

KITT was now far enough away that he couldn't hear the phone anymore.

"Whooo-weee!" the green-haired girl exclaimed. "Haha, this is one sweet car, and it is _all mine_!"

"You are not the owner of this vehicle," KITT reprimanded her. "I suggest you pull over."

"Did you say something?" she turned to her rodent companion.

"Huh? No, I didn't, chu," the mouse answered.

"Yeah, you said pull over!" she argued.

"No, I didn't!" he argued back.

"Well, if you didn't, then who did?" she began to look around, pulling over.

"Me," answered KITT. "I told you to pull over."

She finally looked at his voice display, then grinned.

"Oh, man, this car's even better than I thought!" she said. "I am gonna go all out with this!"

"Oh, brother," KITT sighed. "You've brought this on yourselves."

[NORMAL CRUISE - AUTO CRUISE]

With that, he sped off at high speed.

"Wait, slow down!" the mouse begged.

"I'm not doing anything!" she screamed.

"I warned you," KITT sing-songed. "Now, it's my turn."

He made a high-speed U-turn, extremely disorienting the two. Next, he looked up all of the construction blockades and police stations in the area, creating a route from his current location to a station that went through an area that was under construction. _This_ would freak them out.

As he came up to the blockade, he only sped up, despite the screams of his unwitting passengers.

[TURBO BOOST]

KITT's forward hydraulics activated, propelling KITT forwards as well as up off the ground- as if he had driven off an invisible ramp. He jumped over the confused and dazed construction workers, landing flat on the street ahead and continuing on.

Before long, he'd arrived at a police station. He slammed on the brakes in front of a group of confused officers, then prepared the ultimate punishment.

[AUTO ROOF L]

[AUTO ROOF R]

[EJECT L]

[EJECT R]

His sunroofs on either side opened up, and his seats launched his passengers upwards, practically throwing the pair at the officers' feet. When they picked themselves up off the ground, the officers just walked closer. The two turned to face the officers and blanched.

KITT, satisfied with his work, just drove off to return to Michelle.

* * *

"So, you had a plan all along?" Michelle asked as she pulled up to Night Trap.

"Of course, KITT answered. "You hadn't noticed them until now, but those two have been a pain in my neck the entire time we've been here. I felt that it was necessary to get rid of them before they started to interfere with the mission."

"Yeah, well, don't run off on your own like that ever again," Michelle grumbled as she parked. "You're a car, remember. I let your behavior at the derby slip because it helped me win. This was just a distraction."

"I'm afraid I can't obey that command entirely, Michelle," it said. "My primary function is your safety. There will be times when we will be separated and you will be in danger, and I will have to choose to guarantee your safety for you."

"That's not gonna happen," Michelle glared at its voice display as she got out. "Just don't let this happen again."

The car fell silent, and Michelle made her way into the bar. Once inside, though, she found that a number of the drivers she'd faced earlier were already seated.

"Howdy, fellas!" she greeted enthusiastically as she made her way over. "Nice derby today, huh?"

"You took all our money," one of them growled at her. "So, _no_ , not a nice derby."

"Hey, I gave all my money to the charity," Michelle defended. "You can check with Tanya if you want. By the way, I'm actually here to meet her- have you seen her anywhere?"

"About that," the same trucker chuckled. She was starting to have a bad feeling about this. "She couldn't make it. She sent us to, ah, _welcome_ you instead."

Michelle tensed up, and dodged a fist that was headed for her face. The trucker who she'd been talking to fell right into someone's table, throwing food and drinks everywhere.

She turned again, and dodged another punch. This trucker, however, was more coordinated, and didn't lose his footing the way the first one did. She delivered her own punch to his face, knocking him into the ground. A third tried to tackle her, but she slammed into his chest, turning his own weight against him and throwing him back into the bar.

"Alright, everybody freeze!"

Michelle- and all the truckers that weren't too busy trying to pick themselves back up- stopped and turned to face the new voice.

It was the guildsman in the blue coat from before. She held out a pair of Qatars at the brawlers, seemingly primed to attack. The air was tense.

"It's a good thing I accepted that emergency quest to keep an eye out for brawls here," she said. "You're all under arrest."

Michelle blinked, and the girl turned to directly stare at her.

"I _thought_ there was something suspicious about you," she said. "You're not deaf at all, are you?"

Michelle had no response. All she could do was stare blankly in surprise, opening and closing her mouth like a fish.

* * *

 _*Commercial Bumper*_

* * *

 **Seganet is named after the internet service for the Saturn and the Dreamcast, because in the original episode, the town was Silicon Valley, so naming the new version after a gaming network made the most sense.**

 **The Night Trap bar is a reference to the Sega CD game of the same name. KITT's little meta tangent is itself a reference to the formation of the ESRB in the 90's, as Night Trap was one of the two incredibly controversial games that led to its creation (the other being Mortal Kombat, hence the reference to another bar that played host to gory, fatal bar fights). KITT said that it would be "blown out of proportion" because that's what happened with the real-life Night Trap. To make a long story short, it was a game about protecting women from monsters- kinda misogynistic setup, typical "damsel in distress" hero fantasy, but nothing that major- but people ended up misconstruing it as a game about trapping and killing women. Mortal Kombat definitely earned its controversial reputation, and I totally see why** _ **it**_ **led to the creation of the ESRB, but Night Trap was just an unfortunate victim of bad reporting. I mean, Mortal Kombat is a way better game than Night Trap- Mortal Kombat is a fighting game classic, while Night Trap is just a primitive, clunky horror game that suffered from the same flaws as most Sega CD games, and the few good ideas it had would be used in far better horror games decades later (a lot of people who only learned of it recently have pointed out some very obvious similarities to** _ **Five Nights at Freddy's**_ **)- but still. Nowadays, Night Trap probably would have gotten a T rating.**

 **Fursona 5 is a Persona 5/Furry pun. I imagine that Fursona is a series about collecting fursuits that you use to fight monsters.**

 **In the original episode, the criminals who tried to steal KITT did so with a NORMAL lockpick that just got all bent up, but I changed it to an electronic lockpick for two reasons. One, I just have trouble believing that normal keys like that exist in a place like Gamindustri. Like, maybe they do, again, I have yet to actually play any of the games, but still. Second, I wanted to make the scene more interesting. Instead of KITT just sitting there and doing nothing while the carjackers ruined their pick themselves on the impenetrable lock, I instead wrote a scene about KITT writing a computer virus to kill the pick. It added a little bit of worldbuilding, got to show off KITT's pride a bit, and it was just more interesting that way. Plus, I'm actually a computer programmer myself, so I got to show off my programming knowledge a little bit. Not much, but a little.**

 **I decided to completely remove this episode's love interest from the story because she was completely unnecessary. The only thing she did that affected the plot was give Michael some exposition that he could have gotten elsewhere. Plus, getting her out of the way made more room for Iffy's role in the story.**

 **I feel kinda bad for how I treated Linda and Warechu here- not just what they went through, but how they were characterized. Unfortunately, that's just a side effect of the Knight Rider characters they play the role of. Granted, I have plans for Linda's role in a future episode, and she'll get treated far better (and characterized as far more sympathetic) then, but still.**


End file.
